Dec
16

From Swaziland

The novel that I am writing, The Origin of Color centers on the murder of albinos in East Africa, and more recently in Swaziland. I am currently traveling in Swaziland to do research.

The first day in this country I explored the city of Mbabane. I happened upon the office for the Swazi Observer and went in. Their main room was filled with old desks and computers with lots of people working on stories. I asked a reporter if I could talk with whomever had covered the albino killings in Swaziland, and they gave me that reporter’s phone number. I called him and arranged to see him the next day.

My driver, Sandeline, picked me up at 7:30 am to head out into the countryside to meet the reporter who has been covering the murder and dismemberment of two albino girls, both eleven years old. The reporter had told us that he would be able to bring us to meet with the two families. We stopped at a grocery store so I could get food to bring as gifts. I bought for each family (with Sandeline’s advice) two loaves of bread, candles, matches, rice and peanut butter.

We drove for an hour and a half. A beautiful drive and I learned a lot about the country along the way. The landscape is very lush and green, tangled with giant euphobia cacti, marula trees whose fruit makes liquor and beer, kiat, waterberry, red ivory, tamboti, watle, blue gum and pine trees.

The roads are incredibly alive. It is not just the trees which are loaded with birds, it is everyone and everything walking alongside the roads. We passed stray dogs trotting along (Sandeline said they were looking for scraps of KFC). There were women carrying bags of rice, large bunches of branches, water and other staples on their heads, always wearing bright colors, purples and crimsons, golds and greens that punctuate the landscape. There were long, lean men walking in pairs usually in darker clothes. There were many children, mostly in groups, but sometimes surprisingly walking alone. Every single person we passed when they heard the car coming turned to look who it was. The look in their eyes is something I’m trying to find the words to describe. It was an expression from all the walkers that was the same, it seemed purposeful. It was as if their eyes were saying, “I’ve been walking a long time and I have a long way to go. I am in the midst of a physical mantra and curious to know if the vehicle coming up behind me is something of which I should take note.” We saw skinny cows being herded (why are they skinny? there’s plenty of grass. I don’t get it.) because it was “dipping tank day” so they were being taken to dipping tanks to remove ticks and parasites. We saw people working in banana and papaya fields. Everywhere were rondavels, round houses with roofs made of grass, sides of sticks and mud or brick. Some roofs had corrugated metal. Every now and then there would be a tall flag near one and Sandeline said a single red flag means someone has slaughtered a cow and there is meat for sale. A single white flag means that there is traditional beer for sale. The pinkish Lantuna flower is not indigenous to the country and though it is beautiful and everywhere, the government is encouraging people to destroy it as it damages crops. Oh, and I forgot to mention the goats and chickens wandering about. 

We passed over the Great Usutu River and many small brown rivers winding through the misty Kapunga mountains.

We passed some interesting billboards promoting condom-use, including one that read “Bekhi says, ‘Man is a hunter, the fun is in the chase!’ and Bekhi got AIDS!” Swaziland has the highest AIDS rate in the world.

We picked up the reporter at his office. His name is Starsky. And yes he’s heard of Starsky and Hutch. He got into the car and we started heading into the really rural land toward the homesteads of the families of the murdered girls. Starsky told me that each year around elections time, there are murdered people sometimes found with missing parts. It is believed that some of the people running for Parliament are having potions created that they believe will give them power.

We came to the first homestead. Very small mud and stick homes, chickens wandering in and out, a tethered goat and a little black pig. No electricity, no running water. This was the home of Banele Kwenzi Nxumalo, who was eleven years old when she was shot and beheaded in August. There was a group of girls and two shy boys who gathered to meet us. Banele’s grandmother welcomes me in. She was grateful for the food as if it was Christmas, and was very honored to be visited in her grief. She didn’t speak English so I spoke with her through Starsky and Sandeline. She talked about how hard-working her granddaughter was. Her granddaughter had been a motherless child, her mother had left the family. The grandmother showed me the little bedroom they had shared together. She talked about not being able to return to church. She said that her other granddaughter is also albino and was currently in hiding. She then showed me Banele’s grave which was very pretty. She was buried alone, away from the family graveyard because it is a Swazi tradition that if one dies of something bad, they should be buried separately, otherwise it brings bad luck. Still, her grave was very close to the family homestead by a garden so she didn’t seem alone to me.

The girls who were hanging around had been Banele’s friends and neighbors. Most of them were there when the killing happened. They took me to the place that it happened and told me the story. They were returning from the river with water for their families when a car drove up. The men in the car were taking advantage of the fact that the men don’t fetch water, and it would only be women and children. This day, it was in fact only one woman and several girls. A man wearing a mask jumped out of the car and shot Banele. Kicking the other girls away he threw Banele over his shoulder and ran down the slope and up the mountain where he disappeared with her. Her headless body was found there.

The next homestead had been the home of Siphesihle Mtshali. Her grandfather was there. She had lived with her grandfather as both of her parents had died of either TB or AIDS. There was a little boy there as well whose parents had dropped him off and never returned, so the grandfather was raising him as well. Siphesihle had been in the company of a male friend when she was attacked. Her leg was chopped off, and the thug swung a knife at the friend to keep him from helping. The friend is still in the hospital. Siphesihle was the first albino person killed in Swaziland for ritual use of her body parts, Banele had been the second. The grandfather is not married and was raising the children alone. His granddaughter had been in charge of all the cooking.

It was interesting to me in both families that along with the grief, there was also the insurmountable financial loss when a child died. In the West, our children’s responsibility is just to learn and grow. But here, the children are vital contributors to the family’s survival. With Banele’s death, someone else now had to fetch the water which costs the family many hours of time and is a great difficulty. With Siphesihle’s death, the grandfather and the orphan he is raising have to now do the cooking.

Dec
10

Male and Female

Our fourth text:

Whatever the blessed Holy One made, both above and below, is all in the mystery of male and female. (Zohar)

My musing:

Genesis 1:27 says of the first ones God created, “male and female God created them.” Some understand this verse to be saying that this very first creation was hermaphroditic. Some even suggest that this first creature was a male and a female conjoined, perhaps back to back, perhaps side to side, perhaps face to face. 

I am male. I am female. I am trying to get myself together.

Just as the seed activates the egg so the comet activates the planet. Here begins the mystery of life’s creation.

So to the mystery of life’s creativity begins in the reunion of the male and female within yourself. To have an idea and be receptive to it. The right side imagines and the left interprets this imagining and the creative mind is in constant dialogue with itself.

Dec
09

Body and Spirit

Our third text:
The letters are the body, and the vowel points are the spirit. (Zohar)

My musing:
In shorthand there are no vowels. So too with a short temper. Words are clipped and sharp.

Long hand, however, is as full of vowels as the everlastingly patient are with goodness.

“Everlasting patience results in much understanding while the portion of short-temperedness is folly.” (Proverbs 15:29)

Vowels are all open-mouthed and trusting. How much love spirit brims over the two gentle consonants in an enthusiastic “I loooooove yoooouuuuu!”

No text comes alive, no story becomes animate, without you breathing into it. Communication too, the heart of all relationship, needs a squall of that innermost sigh, else, like a boat whose sail is limp, it grows barnacles, its potential for adventure, discovery and wonder marooned.

Vowels are pure breath and the letters are their garments. The one fills out the other and the other fleshes out the One.

An exercise for you: say your full name without the consonants. Familiarize yourself with this strange sound by repeating it again and again. Through this, you may learn how the name of your spirit is linked to the ineffable Name

Y a h w e h

Our bodies are the letters, and the vowel points are God’s presence.

Dec
01

The Mystery of “I”

Our second text:
There are many mysteries connected with “I”. (Zohar)

My musing:
Remember personal ads, those flimsy bouquets of words in the age before J-date and E-harmony? For example:

I am a funny DM, big teddy bear ISO tolerant W for LTR, kids OK

I am a spunky WWW ISO 60-80 years young partner N/S to share my love of travel, antiques, cats

I am a sensitive CEO ISO soul to lavish, race unimportant, D/D free

What is most interesting is what we conceal. No one could even venture a guess, and if they could, then it is not concealed well. If it is concealed too well, then we ourselves do not even know what it is.

I am a lone vessel cupping a single holy spark longing to know whether You are ISO me too.

An exercise for you: Compose a few short lines which summarize your entire being and the longings of your heart of hearts. Now hold it out to the world and hope someone sees between the lines, through the latticework to the golden spark of you.

Nov
16

Wisdom, Understanding and Knowledge

As I begin my three month sabbatical, I want to invite you to travel with me, a soul’s journey. This “candlelit tent” represents the secret place to which the soul retreats while the body rests. The innermost chamber of thought, flickering between reality and dream.

In this place of shadow and light, I will share texts from the Zohar, the “Book of Enlightenment,” which came into being in Spain around 1280. It is one of the foundational works of Kabbalah, Jewish Mysticism, and the text in which I most love to become lost.

Gershom Scholem wrote that Jewish Mysticism is: “The fundamental experience of the inner self which enters into immediate contact with God.”

You are welcome to join me in the tent anytime to revive with a symbolic cup of sweet tea, minted with ancient teachings.

Our first text:

The world was created with these, namely, wisdom, understanding, and knowledge. (Zohar II 14-15a)

My musing:

Wisdom is a hidden and obscure point, an iota into which everything is compacted. It is the essence of all, yet no eye can see it. It is the Garden of Eden, the birthing place of souls, the source of the river of light. It exists prior to the beginning of any creative process. It is an unknowable, negative space, a dot into which everything imaginable and unimaginable is tightly curled waiting and trembling.

Understanding is the palace which enshrines the dot. We can only have awareness of wisdom through its expansion which is understanding. Understanding is the ability to derive one thing from another, to separate and clarify. Through understanding, we recognize the intuitive flash which is wisdom. Understanding is the feminine aspect of potential, and wisdom the masculine. The dot enters the palace, and out of this union is born:

Knowledge is also called ‘attachment’ in that it fastens itself to a concept and becomes one with it. It knows matters wholly. It contains within it all the attributes of emotion. It completes the process of thought and makes it whole. It employs sensing, thinking, intuiting and feeling. The soul is made up of ten parts, three parts intellectual and seven parts emotional. Knowledge links these parts together. Adam knew his wife Eve…

The rabbis say: Abraham is the quality of wisdom. Isaac is the quality of understanding. Jacob is the quality of knowledge.

Questions for you:

Can you identify moments in your life when you have experienced these qualities? Are there concepts or beliefs to which you’ve ever been wholly attached? If you cannot see wisdom, how do you know it is there? Is an infant wise?